“Honey? Where’s the kids tonight?” says guy.

“Oh, they’re out at a sleepover.” says wife.

“What about your parents?” says guy.

“Don’t you remember? They went to Atlantic City this weekend.” says wife.

“And the guy on the couch?” says guy.

“He went to his mom’s house.” says wife.

Simultaneous: “OMG WE’RE ALONE!”

Does this ever happen to you? Probably not very much. It never happens to me. But honestly, when you and your mate get a whole night alone together, trying to figure out what to do could be a daunting task. So daunting, perhaps, that you both feel overwhelmed at the prospect and opt for dinner at the Olive Garden and the new Twilight movie. What a great evening? “Good night honey.” Zzzzzzz….

Let’s back up. If guy and wife had remembered that kids, parents and couch dude were all going to be gone at the same time, they could have prepared for an amazing, spectacular, fantabulous romantic night. So first of all, somebody, either one or both of you, needs to orchestrate this evening. You could surprise your partner by getting everyone out of the house and getting your romance on.

The best romantic night starts with dinner. Something light; you don’t want to be sluggish, do you? And you’ll need to save room for dessert. An avocado salad with honey fig dressing, a little bit of angel hair pasta with garlic and basil, Oysters Rockefeller and a glass of champagne. This means you’ll have to make a special shopping trip. Planning is a beautiful thing. All of those foodstuffs are said to be aphrodisiacs. Nice start!

Now that you’re feeling warm and fuzzy, it’s time for a little artwork – chocolate artwork. Take turns painting each others’ bodies with chocolate body paint, then have fun licking it off. Sexy and tasty!

But now you’re all messy. What to do? Since you’re such a good planner, you’ve already cleaned the bathtub, bought some warming body scrub and placed scented candles strategically around the tub. Get dirty, then get clean – but don’t be afraid to get dirty again.

Move it on into the bedroom now. Of course you’ve read my romantic bedroom guide, so the bedroom is ready to go. What, you haven’t read it? Go read it now so I don’t have to repeat myself about the romantic luxury therein.

You’ve eaten sexy, painted sexy, bathed sexy and now you’re in that sexy bedroom. This is where I leave you, intrepid bedroom adventurer, because I’m pretty sure that once you reach this point you won’t need any advice from me.

But wait! Don’t feel left out if you don’t have a lover. You can do many of these things solo for an intimate night with yourself. Skip the fancy dinner and the body paint – have champagne and artisan chocolates instead. Take a luxurious bath and then head to your clean bedroom. Light some candles, play some music that turns you on, and hang out with your best friend, Mr. Vibrator. This could even prove more enjoyable than a romantic interlude with a partner – Mr. Vibrator won’t snore all night or expect you to make him steak and eggs in the morning.

Related posts:

1. How to turn a one night stand into a relationship.
2. Elegant Bedroom Romance Ideas
3. Sugar and Spice (and everything nice!): Sexy ideas to spice up the night

The Best Romantic Night In, Ever – by TickleSpot Magazine.

It’s human nature to want to pleasure your partner to the best of your ability. I’m constantly concerned about if he’s enjoying himself, if I look sexy enough, or if I’m even doing it right…when really the best sex happens when both of us are uninhibited and can just let go. If you’re feeling a little bit reserved these days, here are some sexy ideas to help loosen you up so you can “let go” and enjoy the romance.

A warm bubble bath with candle light is PB&J romance. Baths can be the answer to any stressful day, and it’s twice as great when you have your partner with you to unwind. The warm water relaxes those tired muscles and goodness knows that includes our sex muscles. If you’re feeling a little adventurous, try using a vibrator in the water. It’s a very unique sensation that is definitely something to experience–just remember to make sure that vibrator is waterproof!

I’m a constant advocate for yoga. It opens the mind, soul, and body, not to mention the obvious health benefits like weight loss, body toning, and increase in flexibility. Introduce your partner to the benefits of yoga by planning a private yoga session with a trained instructor. There are yoga studios just about everywhere now, and some will even come right to your home! Yoga will help bring the two of you together spiritually and you might begin to notice you’re feeling a little more frisky and playful. Yoga helps to release endorphins which improve your mood, and quite often, your sex drive. With an increased sex drive, confidence, and flexibility, the romance will blossom.

Now that you’re doing yoga, you’re feeling much more confident in your physique. If you want to drive your partner crazy, snap a few sexy photos on your cell phone and text it to him. He’ll be surprised and so incredibly turned on. A picture’s worth a thousand words, and your naked body is priceless.

“Sexting” is the new thing. Send him a few naughty words about how you’re waiting for him and can’t wait to jump him the minute he walks in the door. If you want to take that sexy teasing one step further, try your hand at Literotica. Write him a sexy tale of a fantasy you have, even if it’s just a few words. It’s a way to communicate if there’s something you’d like to try without having to say the words in person–Plus, this is about the sexiest thing you could do. He’ll be fantasizing about you fantasizing and then you writing it and then actually fulfilling that fantasy for you. Play around with it, talk naughty, tease him, tease yourself. This will bring you closer together and further enhance your romance.

Try any of these recipes for a sexy night–you can practically taste the spicy results & sweet rewards.

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2. The best massage oil I’ve ever used!
3. The Best Romantic Night In, Ever

Sugar and Spice (and everything nice!): Sexy ideas to spice up the night – by TickleSpot Magazine.

Going green is not a fad – it’s a part of our lives now, and conscious living extends to everything we human beings do. Have you thought about your sex life lately? It’s true – you can enhance your sexual experiences, either privately or with your partner, while creating an earth-friendly atmosphere worthy of romantic adventures.

Wasteful batteries? Coal-generated electricity? For those who would rather live off the grid (and enjoy themselves while doing so), Earth Angel has brought us a new innovation – the vibrator that runs on power generated by a hand-crank mechanism. It’s made from 100% recyclable materials, and I’m sure there’s some way you could work those four minutes of cranking time into foreplay…

If you’re not into cranking up a vibrator, consider an all-natural glass dildo. It’s generally not something you think about, but many (cheap) sex toys contain harmful toxins. Glass adult toys are chemical-free and easy on the earth. Everything from dildos to geisha balls to cock rings exists for your enjoyment, and there are some incredibly talented artists making intimate toys into beautiful pieces of art. No batteries, rubber or plastic – only smooth glass that can be heated up or chilled for a more diverse effect, bringing more eco-friendly fun to the bedroom. These products are so gorgeous, you might not want to put them away when you’re finished.

Organic sheets aren’t as boring, or as hard to find, as they used to be. Now you can get them at Bed Bath & Beyond, Macy’s or Target.  Being comfy and helping the environment = ultra sexy.

Intimate Organics makes aromatherapy cleansing gels in energizing, sensual and relaxing scents that are sure to help you fall into a romantic, organic state of mind. Or try Ono’s Massage Oils and find your own tropical paradise. Organic body oils don’t leave harmful residues on your skin, so feel totally free to explore yourself or your partner without the chemicals.

Don’t forget the candles! Organic soy candles, that is. After you’ve used up your paraffin ones, pick up some scented soy or beeswax-based candles for a sexy, organic experience. You and your lover will delight in the many scents available, and enjoy knowing that you’re breathing clean air as you gaze into each others eyes across the candlelit room.

If you enjoy watching erotic movies, the Sundance Channel and director Isabella Rossellini have the films for you. Really love animals? Find out how they make love, up close and personal. No, there is no yucky interspecies sex here – these cute films will definitely make you giggle, even if they aren’t quite the movies you’re used to.  Hurray for green porn!

See? It’s not hard to make yourself and the earth feel good. Go ahead and make your bedroom erotically green, no matter which colors Tickle your fancy. It just goes to show that green has penetrated every aspect of our lives, and it’s here to stay.

Related posts:

1. I Like My Chocolate with a Side of Plant
2. Hydra Lubricant by Intimate Organics: A Natural Lube for Natural Lovemaking
3. Are Warming Lubes Safe?

Sweet, Sweet Sexy Green Love – by TickleSpot Magazine.

Secretly, I ordered a g-spot vibrator. Secretly because Umberto, who kind of lived in my apartment but sometimes lived wherever he fell into a narcoleptic coma, wasn’t reaching my g-spot. He was a true narcoleptic, but I don’t see how that would have affected his sexual performance short of him falling asleep mid-stroke. I’d tell him “you’re one in 3 million, baby” after sex, and then he’d fall asleep, but really he was the one in 3 million people with narcolepsy.

Over the next few months I became addicted to my vibrator. Whenever Umberto passed out at the kitchen table I was free to hang out with my beautiful orange g-spot vibrator, who I came to call Big Orange. Those were good times.

I know what you’re thinking. “Poor Umberto. He has a horrible debilitating disease and his girlfriend is running around cheating on him with an orange vibrator.” And it was true. I felt bad. So after two months I decided to introduce Umberto to Big Orange.

Figuring that because Umberto didn’t come from a particularly sex-toy-friendly culture (“Catholic,” if you will), he would probably be more comfortable with the idea if I first introduced some other things that were kinkier than a vibrator. It would make Big Orange seem more normal.

So I went online fetish shopping again. This time I wasn’t worried about what would hit my g-spot. I looked for the weirdest collection sex toys I could find that didn’t look like they would send either of us to the emergency room. They arrived in black boxes (really freaking discreet, thanks Amazon!) and I unpacked them, hiding them in interesting places around my bedroom.

I waited until a recent bout of Excessive Daytime Sleepiness was over (it’s the medical name for it. EDS, look it up). He yawned and stretched, gazing at the curtains gently swaying in the sultry summer air. I lay down in the bed with him and rubbed his shoulders.  Pretty soon, I realized, there was to be no pussyfooting around the subject of Big Orange. I took a deep breath.

“Honey, do you want to handcuff and blindfold me before you insert some anal beads and a giant orange vibrator?”

The look in his eyes said “you’re a female spider about to devour your sexual prey.” He sized me up, trying to figure out if I was large enough to do so, since female spiders must be bigger than their mates in order to eat them. He decided that I was in fact not large enough to eat him.

“No, not really.”

“Here, look,” I said, beginning to rummage through the mess for my questionable sex toy hiding places. “Anal beads…. handcuffs…. kiwi-flavored lubricant… oh, and then this orange thing.” I dumped everything on the bed rather unceremoniously. He eyed the sex toy pile as though it, the pile, was now the female spider. I gazed at him with my most sweet and longing look.

Umberto picked up Big Orange. Yes, my plan was working perfectly. Compared with everything else, my orange vibrator seemed fairly non-threatening.

“What is this?” he asked.

Damn.

“That’s my vibrator,” I said.

“What’s it for?” he asked.

At that moment I knew I had an innocent man on my hands. No wonder all he ever wanted was missionary – he knew less about all things sex than he did about the mating habits of spiders. This was the beginning of the end, I knew, but if I was out, it would have to be blaze-of-glory-style or nothing. He picked up the handcuffs.

“Did you steal these from your dad?” he asked.

Yes, my dad’s a cop. No, he does not carry handcuffs adorned with pink and black fuzzies. I couldn’t have cared less about the handcuffs, so I tossed them aside.

“This is Big Orange. He gives me the orgasms that you usually don’t. I mean come on – it’s not ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ here.”

Umberto processed this, continuing to examine Big Orange. The anal beads and kiwi lube went unnoticed, much to my chagrin.

“This is how you turn it on,” I said, and those were the last words I said before vibrating, gyrating, pulsing Big Orange went flying out the open window.

I unleashed an interesting string of obscenities, which will not be repeated here for the sake of decency. I leaned out the 3rd floor window and watched an elderly lady exit the church across the street and stop to examine my vibrator, which lay in the middle of the street on high speed mode.

“Oh Lord in heaven, it’s a bomb!” she cried.

Umberto and I stared out the window. “Ha!” he said. “Remember that bet we made? About who would be the first one of us arrested as a terrorist? You totally owe me five bucks.”

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2. When Stress Turns You Into a Monster, Part One
3. How to Use a Vibrator on Your Wife

Umberto and Big Orange – by TickleSpot Magazine.

Now there’s at least one remote you won’t have to fight over! Worn while making love, the We-Vibe 3 boasts more power, a fully waterproof design, a convenient wireless remote control, and a wireless charger base that doubles as a discreet, perfect-for-travel storage case. We-Vibe 3brings the good vibrations of the world’s #1 vibrator

We-Vibe 3 – The Newest We-Vibe III

for couples to a whole new level of fun!

We have the new We-Vibe 3 – it is now available in our online sex toy store.

Key Features

• 40% more vibration power
• 2 whisper-quiet motors
• wireless remote control or manual operation
• 6 thrilling vibration modes
• fully waterproof design
• compact and discreet
• 2-in-1 storage case/wireless charger
• up to 2 hours of play on a single charge
• G: 80 x 28 x 18 mm (3 x 1.1 x 0.7”)
• C: 80 x 29 x 21 mm (3 x 1.1 x 0.8”)

Body Safe

• soft, flexible, comfortable
• 100% lead-free, phthalate-free medical grade silicone
• safe for water-based lubricants

Eco Sexy

• long-lasting rechargeable battery
• easy soap and water cleanup
• fully recyclable packaging
• carbon-neutral manufacture and distribution

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2. We Vibe 3 – Where to Buy
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Remote Controls – Why do we fight over them? – by TickleSpot Magazine.

Although not officially approved by the US Military or the APO/FPO, sex toys (especially Fleshlights and simple non-vibrating masturbation sleeves) are well tolerated. “Fleshlights were delivered constantly while I was deployed.” explains one Iraq Veteran. “Also if you’re living in CHU’s in battle there’s always ‘alone time’, and believe me, he won’t be embarrassed because half his platoon probably already owns one or is planning on getting one.”

All Military Post Offices (MPOs) have restrictions on items that can be sent using the APO/FPO delivery system. While there are several rules of thumb that can be referred to, individual APO/FPO zip codes have restrictions that are specific to the overseas location they serve. For the first time ever, these zip codes are now available in an online database that can be searched quickly and easily to verify any and all restrictions to overseas military bases, posts and camps.

In Iraq and Iran, sex toy and sexual devices are unacceptable off-base, but many soldiers have and use Fleshlights and other masturbation sleeves. Vibrating toys may attract too much attention, but the discreet design of the Fleshlight will likely avoid any notice.

Related “Military Sex Toy” Questions

Which Fleshlight is best for a solider?

That is a difficult question. Each man has a preference for tightness, texture, and size. Make sure the Fleshlight is his favorite penetration method (anal, vaginal, or oral) and he will fit. The only real suggestion we make is to avoid vibrating models for deployed military. If you need some help narrowing it down, here’s a great Best Fleshlight for Military Suggestions page.

Can we send sex toys to an APO or FPO?

APO stands for Army Post Office and is associated with Army or Air Force installations Worldwide. FPO stands for Fleet Post Office, and is associated with US Navy installations and ships in the United States. Most companies ship to APO and FPO.

Best Fleshlight Shipping Method for APO/FPO?

Priority Mail with the USPS is the way to go. Inexpensive, reliable, and easily tracked, it is the ideal delivery method for delivery to APO/FPO locations. Expect delivery time to vary, however, most deliveries are made quickly and in less than 5 business days. You should never choose a ground delivery option for an APO/FPO delivery, it could take up to 8 weeks, but probably will never be delivered.

Will my soldier get in trouble when I send him a Fleshlight?

Definitely tell him about it and he will likely be able to tell you quickly if it is acceptable. If you prefer to surprise him, know you are taking a risk in sending it. It may be discovered and and searched, as all APO/FPO mail may be. We encourage you to ask your soldier if it is okay to send Fleshlights. His buddies will have tried and succeeded or failed, just ask him. He’s going to be excited, don’t worry about that.

Where should I buy the Fleshlight?

We’ve found Tickle offers excellent prices on Fleshlights with very inexpensive shipping (and free for orders over $50!). Right now, the Original Fleshlight is only $45.50 and the popular Jenna Haze Lotus is just $56. Head on over and check out their selection of Fleshlights.

Is it okay to send lube with the Fleshlight or sleeve?

It is usually okay to send lube, especially small bottles. Ask him if it’s okay, it probably is fine, but make sure. Learn more about lube for Fleshlights or find a Fleshlight for your Soldier!

Related posts:

1. Added LELO Lube to Best Lube’s for Fleshlight at #1
2. Top 5 – Best Lubes for Fleshlight
3. Five Myths About Women in Combat

Can I send sex toys to military bases? – by TickleSpot Magazine.

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The best massage oil I’ve ever used! – by TickleSpot Magazine.

Cock rings can be a sexual avenue a lot of men are a little shy to try. Whether you are an experienced C ring connoisseur, or just beginning to explore cock rings and all of the benefits they can offer, this definitive guide to our top 5 favorite cock rings will help you make that decision.

Lelo Bo

The Lelo Bo cock ring is a more economical alternative to Lelo’s Tor but you won’t lose out on quality anytime you choose Lelo, I’ve found.

The motor is just as powerful in the Bo and the lithium ion charger ensures you’re fully charged in just one hour.

It is very stretchy, despite the fact that it appears rigid. It fits men of most every endowment. Size definitely isn’t an issue with this cock ring.

We love the sturdy body and strong, enhancing vibrations.

Simple V- C Ring by Ophoria

The name says it all.

This is one of the most simple cock rings we tested. It fits most any endowment snug, yet comfortably. The silicone-encased bullet will give your woman some gently, sexy vibrations while you continue to grow.

Who knew that simple also meant amazing?

The guys at Ophoria, apparently.

Tantus Vibrating C Ring

Forget your standard, run of the mill jelly cock ring. The Vibrating Cock Ring by Tantus uses only premium, body-safe silicone that lasts for years with proper care.

The standard bullet will please your girl, no questions asked, but more importantly, it will feel comfortable when worn.

We love the color choice as well, we tested the purple, and I must say it’s very flattering.

Lovering Rain by Fun Factory

This uniquely shaped cock ring is just as fun as it is curious.

Let the various-sized “rain drops” fall where they may for incredible massaging sensations during intercourse, or position them carefully for maximum stimulation where you want it most.

It looks like rain,” doesn’t have to be cause for disappointment. At least, not when you’re talking about the black rain lovering from Fun Factory.

Rendezvous Thick by NobEssence

Functional and exquisitely hand-sculpted from farmed exotic hardwoods, these thick rings enhance the penis as a sexual enhancement or attractive decoration. Each beautiful piece of wood has been hand-selected, carved, and meticulously polished using the highest American standards of craftsmanship. A silky-smooth, bio-compatible Lubrosity finish ensures your safety, and the safety of your fine erotic artwork.

NobEssence toys are compatible with a variety of popular lubricants, including water, oil, and silicone-based. Each wooden toy is non-porous, Pht-free, and USP Class IV and VI approved.

Tickle has also introduced a new section of Sex Toys just for men.

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Top 5 Best Sex Toys for Men: Cock Rings – by TickleSpot Magazine.

Has your sex life been dragging a bit lately? Or maybe it’s okay, but you’re looking to give your partner a new sexual experience. One of the best ways to do this is with a vibrator.

But how to choose one? There are so many out there with different sizes, colors and features… how do you know which is the right one for her? Here are some tips to help you select the best vibrator for your girlfriend.

• Consider what she likes. Do you have a shy wife? Dildo play can be fun and sexy for the two of you, and she can play with it when you’re not home. If vibrators or dildos are new to her, you’ll want to choose a smaller one that won’t intimidate her. If she enjoys a wild ride, has a whole collection of toys and is looking for something new, there are some innovative designs on the market that are sure to spark her attention.

• Choose a place to shop. Buying your girlfriend a sex toy can be an intimidating experience. You want help, but going to a sex shop can be embarrassing. Buying online provides a safe degree of anonymity, but how do you really know what you’re getting, and if it’s the right one? You’ll want to find an online store with a concierge service – you can describe your girlfriend over the phone to a knowledgeable customer service representative who can guide you to the right product. And don’t worry – it won’t arrive at your doorstep with the word VIBRATOR written all over it. Choosing an appropriate place to buy your gift can save you a lot of time and effort.

• What does she like sexually? If your wife wants a dildo, hopefully you know what she likes sexually, and you’ll use this to your advantage when selecting one. Some dildos are realistic-looking and come in different flesh tones. Others are quite colorful. Some are hard-shelled and made of materials like Pyrex, plastic, aluminum or glass. Others are softer and consist of silicone, rubber or latex.  Hard-shelled vibrators provide a more intense experience, while soft-shelled ones are gentler and feel more realistic.

• How big are these things? Once you’ve determined the right one for her, you’ll need to look at size. How does she feel about you? Are you the perfect fit, or has she ever expressed a desire for something a little bigger or smaller? Over 30% of men have an erect penis size of 5 ½ to 6 inches, making this the most common size. If you’re really not sure about what size she’d like, go for something in this range.

• Clitoral, G-Spots, Bullets and Eggs? Does she enjoy clitoral stimulation, or does she really get off when you find her G-spot? Clitoral vibrators are smaller, don’t usually provide penetration, and stimulate an orgasm similar to oral sex. G-spot vibrators are longer, with a curved head that reaches the most hidden area of the vagina.  Rabbit vibrators provide both clitoral and g-spot stimulation, so you don’t have to decide between one or the other.

• Beyond the bedroom. Do you like to play in public? Consider buying a bullet or egg toy. These are small, vibrating orbs that fit snugly in a pair of panties, invisible beneath her clothes. They come with a remote control that you can hold, making for an exciting and unpredictable experience. Work in the office together? Give her a little buzz from your cubicle or during a meeting. At the club? Let her know she’s dancing sexy with the touch of a button.  If your girl is adventurous and likes surprises, this is the vibrator for her.

There’s a lot to learn about vibrators and dildos, but this guide should give you a head start on buying the right sex toy for your wife or girlfriend. She’ll thank you for it, and she can have fun with you or by herself, which makes everyone happier in the long run!

For a complete selection of luxurious vibrators and dildos, Tickle – Luxury Adult Pleasures. (They have a full-service Concierge!)

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2. Tips for Buying A Rechargeable Vibrator
3. Top 10 Gifts for Your Wife

Buying a Toy for Your Girl – by TickleSpot Magazine.

Getting close to your boyfriend can be a lot of fun. Getting him in the mood, however, may be another story, which is why tickling can be so much fun. There’s a lot of fun to be had with tickling, especially the sensations from the body and the whoop of laughter that usually ensues. How do you get him to tickle you? Well, that’s actually much easier than you think.

Saying things such as “I like being tickled” may not be the way to get your desires across. He may just think, “Okay,” and move past your small request. There’s more to it. You have to show him and demonstrate the first few times so that he sees what happens. It’s important to remember that tickling is contagious and silly. It sometimes leads to more tickling and sometimes leads to other things, so be careful what you wish for. Tickling can be highly addictive, but make sure you use it for fun and not torture (yes, there really is such thing as tickle torture).

Getting tickled is just plain good old fun. It causes your body to squirm and laugh out of control. In order to get your boyfriend to tickle, you’ll usually have to start the tickling. Even if he doesn’t like to be tickled, he’ll feel the need to tickle you back. Even if it is just to defend himself.

How to tickle someone is easy. It can start virtually anywhere on the body, but there are key areas to start with. You can either go to the bottom of the feet, behind the knees, under the arms, or behind the neck. Tickling is done with the fingertips, and if you’ve got them, even your fingernails. Once your boyfriend learns that you like to be tickled, you can even suggest feathers and other items to be tickled with.

You can either do a fun tickle or a teasing tickle. What’s the difference? A fun tickle is when you run your fingers up and down the area of choice quickly. Giggling while you tickle helps to break any potential mood barriers down as well. Then, there’s the teasing tickle, where you may whisper things and move your fingers much more slowly. Either tickle is acceptable, it all leads to what the ultimate goal of the tickling is.

Even though tickling is an involuntary twitch of the body, you can force the body to perform the function. It is a pleasurable feeling to be enjoyed over and over again. When your boyfriend learns that you like to be tickled and how much you enjoy it, you’ll never have to ask him again. A simple tickle to him will let him know that you want to be tickled, too, and the fun begins.

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How To Get My Boyfriend To Tickle Me – by TickleSpot Magazine.