Before the advent of Facebook and other social utility sites, all relationships had two basic dimensions: in-person or over-the-phone communication. It was simple, and though AOL Instant Messenger connected us online, there were no real rules to follow. There wasn’t a need for rules in that era, but with Facebook’s insane popularity over the years, new manners and etiquette come into play. And with over 350 million people logging onto the site each month, you can bet the rules are often broken.

As a mode of harassment, an outlet for embarrassing pictures or a simple way to stay in contact with friends, Facebook can be either a weapon or a tool. Follow these five rules and you’ll have a successful online presence; beware the consequences if you break them.

1. Don’t friend anyone who shouldn’t know your secrets.

Your boss, your mother, your boyfriend’s grandmother and your English Composition 2 professor all have something in common: They don’t belong in your Facebook friend list. Steer clear from adding these people unless you have a rare relationship that can’t be made awkward from posts like “I can’t believe I let him do that last night!” showing up on their news feed. If someone in this group adds you, you can either deny them and say that it’s for your personal use or feed your heart to the wolves and add them. If you choose to add, make sure you censor your posts and remember to un-tag unsavory pictures of yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when Daddy sees the pictures of the party that took place while he was out of town.

2. Don’t post whatever you’re thinking at the moment; use a little discretion.

The “What’s on your mind?” text in the update box doesn’t mean “say anything you want.” You must be careful in posting your thoughts, because Facebook makes them public. If you called in sick to work, don’t post that you’re going to the mall to buy some new shoes. You’ll probably get fired. If you’re going out for the night, don’t post that your house is empty. You may get robbed. These are silly mistakes, but you must use supreme caution not to make them. Re-read your posts and make sure nothing harmful can surface from your words.

3. Don’t use somebody’s Facebook page to harass them.

“The worst thing I’ve experienced is some pretty harsh cyber harassment,” said Paul Reynolds, the administrator for the Facebook Etiquette group. “An ex-girlfriend teamed up with a bunch of people and harassed anyone who looked like they may be close to me. That was horribly unclassy. The new privacy settings have helped make this manageable, but really it’s more a reflection on the person doing the harassing than anyone else.”

Harassing someone over Facebook may seem like easy revenge, but it can only do more damage. If you have unfinished business with someone, confront them about it in the real world. Facebook isn’t the right outlet for you to get vindictive.

4. Don’t leak your relationship drama onto your Facebook.

If you’re in a relationship with someone, don’t end it over Facebook. That’s just rude, but the rules change after a break-up. There’s a cruel period where the dump-er and the dump-ee wait to see who will change their status to “single” first. Don’t play that game. If you break up with someone, make it official on Facebook too.

If you’re happily involved with someone, don’t obsess over a picture comment or a wall post on his/her page, because the only good thing that came from that kind of envy is this hilarious video.

5. Don’t use your Facebook to meet/stalk new people.

The point of having a Facebook is to stay updated with your friends’ lives. It’s not a forum to meet new people, and it shouldn’t be treated that way. Don’t add people you don’t know, because it’s kind of creepy. If you want to lurk someone’s life, get a Myspace.

Like a handshake that never seems to end, Facebook can be embarrassing and infuriating. Consequently, if you play by the rules, it can be entertaining and enjoyable. Have some manners, use your common sense and discretion and the ‘book will treat you well.

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