In the car world, there’s always something better just over the horizon. Oh, you just got the 2010 Cadillac Escalade Hybrid? That stinks; they just came out with the 2015 version. And it can fly. Personal vehicles are one of the hardest “keeping up with the Jonses” things to actually keep up with. They’re expensive, lose half their value when you drive them off the lot, and like computers, they will be obsolete in six months. Then, as soon as you buy a Toyota Matrix – as soon as I buy one, anyway – Toyota recalls 8.5 million vehicles. Mr. Toyota (yes, that’s the president’s name) plans to apologize today. Thank you?
That being said, Nissan has a new vehicle coming out that I’m actually excited about. It’s the Nissan LEAF: “100% electric, zero emissions.” I recognize and acknowledge their marketing efforts, but as some internet cats might say, “Ur doin it rong.” On Nissan’s website, you can supposedly get a real-time answer to a question via Twitter. I asked an expert to define “100% torque,” but the application failed. There’s also a section for FAQs, divided into categories that circle an environmental-looking wheel. It’s hard to explain, you’ll need to look at it. But actually don’t bother, because that feature doesn’t work either. There’s also these inexplicable yellow and gray dots that switch the main picture from a photograph to a video, though you would never, ever, ever know what the dots are for.
You can Digg, Stumble, Facebook and Myspace the link to LEAF’s website. I’m not sure who would Myspace anything – a band I guess – but the option is there. I found out about the LEAF (Leading Environmentally-friendly Affordable Family Car) through an ad when I Googled something like “hippie music festivals.” Ironically, there is a hippie music festival called LEAF (Lake Eden Arts Festival), and hippies do like electric cars, so that was a good marketing move. Although it’s not that hard to get your Nissan ad to pop up in relevant places.
Via Twitter again, Nissan announced that the car will get 367 mpg. 367 mpg? It’s an electric car… how exactly do the gallons factor in? Gallons of electricity? The Wikipedia quote is “367 mpg plug-to-wheel using the Department of Energy’s formula.” As a non-car enthusiast, I have no idea what that means. Let’s go ahead and make the argument that the majority of women are non-car enthusiasts too. I will also argue that only a small segment of the U.S. population is car enthusiasts. I just wanted information about the car independent of Nissan’s website, and about all I could find were techy car blogs. The Huffington Post offered a plain-English comparison of the LEAF and the Chevy Volt, which has a more informative website. But I just wanted to know about the LEAF. In fact, the only non-Nissan-sponsored, layman’s terms description of the car I could find was in a Forbes article called “Why Nissan’s Electric Car Will Flop.”
So, I must rely on Nissan to tell me about their new car, since I don’t have time to take an automotive class at this point in my life. LEAF has no tailpipe, and therefore no emissions. It doesn’t run on gas – only a battery. You can plug it in “like your blender.” Was that a subtle attempt to reach women? Just telling us about the car in standard English is all I’m asking for; I don’t really need to identify my car with my kitchen appliances. But I’ll excuse that, because this car could be the one to truly galvanize the auto industry to green. Or it could, like Forbes said, completely fail. I hope Twitter, the dots and the blender are not harbingers.
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About the Author
Jamie Stroble is a Winston-Salem writer and editor. She has years of journalism and freelancing under her belt; she now serves as Editor at Tickle Spot Magazine. Between work, graduate school and her husband and daughter, she's always looking for the next project that needs tackling. She enjoys lavender-scented Play-Dough, writing memoirs and morning coffee, and is newly-addicted to cracked.com. You can leave her a comment - she won't bite. Hard.
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February 24th, 2010 → 11:40 am @ JamieStroble
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