When Stress Turns You Into A Monster: Part Two

If you perused Part One of this article you met The Screamer, that glorious incarnation of the most extreme and publicly hilarious effects of stress. You also know that I do not want to be like her, and I don’t want you to be either. So I promised I would do some research into the scientific side of stress and see if there is anything we can do to stop embarrassing ourselves in public and calm down a little of that road rage. What follows is the friendliest, least scary version of my findings. And just a note, the stress factors I’m focusing on in this article are just the everyday things that leave us tense: jobs, bosses, traffic, etc. I don’t mean to say (in any way) that there is a right or wrong way to deal with stress. Or that the way someone might encounter stress doesn’t come from something deeper like psychological or physical trauma, and other factors that call for professional help. Alright…whew. Disclaimer, done.

When understanding stress it is important to remember that we are simply reacting to stimuli that provoke a fight-or-flight response. That’s all stress is. We are subconsciously deciding whether to put up our fists or bravely run away. In the wake of a perceived threat, our endocrine system floods our bodies with hormones that will heighten our senses during this time of great struggle. Luckily our stress hormones are no longer triggered by a woolly mammoth charging towards our cave. Then again, I can think of a couple previous employers that felt almost as life-threatening.

The world we live in is hardly conducive to peace and serenity, so our stress hormones are likely to be frequently triggered. In fact, our current culture has created a monster now known as “chronic stress syndrome.” When our stress hormones rise dramatically they need time to go back to their normal level. This can take about 72 hours. But these days our stress hormones can be triggered so often that they never have the chance to stabilize resulting in this dreadful syndrome where you can literally feel stressed all the time.

Adrenaline, growth hormone, and norepinephrine are all labeled as stress hormones. One of the most critical stress hormones is cortisol, which takes the longest to return to a normal level. The long-term effects of high cortisol levels include heart disease, problems with digestion, increased abdominal weight gain, blood sugar imbalances, decreased immunity, and severe loss of collagen in the skin. This last one is scientific proof that chronic stress will make you look older. Curses! It’s also been shown that high cortisol levels impede memory function. Which is why if you’re stressed about being late for work, that’s the most likely time you’ll forget where you put your car keys.

There are no pills on the market that can block the hormones that rise when we are stressed. Trust me, it was the first thing I looked into when I began researching for this article. So what do we do? Are we doomed to worry?

I’ve definitely been at points where I felt my stress begin to snowball and had no clue how it started. Was I this worried about meeting the deadline before or after I got the note on my door pointing out that my rent was late? Then all of a sudden, I’m beginning to tear up and wonder if I will end up living in a cardboard box downtown…or how I would afford the hospital bills if I got in a car wreck tomorrow…or whether or not I’m doomed to feel this stressed out forever. Oh, jeebus, what if I feel this way forever!!!!!? So here are some ideas to get you started because I can assure you…you will not feel this way forever but most times just saying that doesn’t do jack.

Take a deep breath and look back.  What was the one thing that provoked your stress? Remember, our fight-or-flight response can be triggered by things as simple as loud noises: a dog bark, a car horn, a phone ringing. This will calm you down and help prevent the snowball-effect. But now what about the hormones running rampant in your body? One thing that studies show reduces cortisol levels is the hardest thing to accomplish when you’re stressed. Laughter. Who knew?

Then there’s exercise…I don’t do it because I don’t like it and the only thing on me that should be running is my mascara when I get nostalgic over a Disney movie. So if you’re like me and you don’t work out, try to do something mildly physical. Even cleaning has been shown to reduce stress levels because it isn’t strenuous but subliminally gives you the sense that you’re accomplishing something.

Deep breathing, music therapy, and massage therapy all reduce cortisol levels. Then there are those of us who always wonder if we’re doing the breathing exercises right and can’t afford a massage therapist. In that case, singing at the top of your lungs to your favorite song really will do the trick. Journaling is even calming because it forces you to organize your thoughts and consider them one at a time. Essentially, there are endless ways we can take a moment to calm down and give our stress hormones a break.

To conclude, I think I discovered that the main key to dealing with stress is to understand it. Stress can be triggered in a million little ways, but it’s basically an involuntary release of hormones. We might as well start saying to ourselves, “I may feel crazy, but it’s not entirely my fault.” That takes a lot of pressure off. Not to say that sometimes stressing about something is a way of reminding ourselves how important that something is…but there comes a point where stressing isn’t doing a darn thing about keeping that important thing safe or getting that important thing done. There is a healthy balance somewhere in this mess, and I’m determined to find it. So while I work on that, I’m suppose I should talk to my landlord about that rent.

Related posts:

1. When Stress Turns You Into a Monster, Part One