Unemployment 101

It’s no secret that unemployment rates haven’t been this high since Reagan. I, myself, wish I had been stock-market-savvy and invested in companies that run online job search engines. But I didn’t, so I’ve spent the past year bouncing from job to job hoping the experience I get from each one will bring me closer to my goal of writing for Vogue. Hey, a girl can dream.

The truth is, finding a job is difficult. In the past couple of years, it was common for laid-off businessmen and women with an M.B.A. to hunt for over 12 months before becoming employed again. For the bottom percentile of workers, unemployment rates have reached as high as 31%. Meanwhile, the percentage of U.S. millionaires rose 16% in 2009 alone. What!?  That’s because there’s a need for an increased skill-set at the top of the corporate ladder, while at the bottom the little guy is being weeded out by out-sourcing and mechanization. Doom and gloom! But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is the shiny desk-lamp I’m going to use once I get that job, whatever it is. What follows are some things I’ve picked up through trial-and-error during this epic journey we call “the job-hunt.”

1. Tailor your resume for the job you are applying for.

I learned early on that having just one resume doesn’t cut it. Potential employers can usually recognize an all-purpose resume and it says to them, “Hello, I’ve sent out a bazillion of these and I’ll settle for whatever I can get. Interested?” The answer is no, they are not interested. They want to feel that you want to work for them, not that you’ll take whatever is available. So, if the truth is that you’re only applying out of desperation (and it’s true, you’ll to take whatever you can get)…fake it.

The point of a resume is to show an employer you are perfect for that position, that you want it and you’ll do anything to get it. If the position you’re applying for is administrative, tweak you resume so your job descriptions focus on any related experience you can dig up. If that doesn’t feel like enough, create a “Skills” section that will cover talents you couldn’t find places for in the rest of your resume. Tailoring your resume to an employer’s needs is essential, and in the long run it will pay off.

2. Cover letters are like a Match.com profile.

If you go on a dating site like eHarmony or Match.com and look at a few profiles, you’ll notice something. Everyone writes about how awesome they are.  Sure, they’re goal-oriented, organized, and they love extreme sports. The truth is, isn’t everyone goal-oriented? Meanwhile, “organized” is easily code for “obsessive-compulsive” and he may have ridden a skateboard once or twice, but the majority of the “extreme sports” he participates in are located on his Playstation.

So did our fictional Match.com character lie? That’s debatable, but when it comes to cover letters remember his tactic: make yourself look as awesome as possible. The same way a profile on a dating site tries to convince you to go on a date, a cover letter is that extra nudge that might get you an interview.  A cover letter can have a bit of personality, while a resume should focus on essential information. However, avoid general terms such as “goal-oriented” and “organized.” Instead, try to relate experiences you’ve had, things you’ve learned, and how your previous jobs prepared you for the responsibilities of the position you are applying for. Just remember, your cover letter should not simply be a repeat of the information on your resume.

3. Being over-qualified, who knew that could be a problem?

I applied for a job at a restaurant the other day and my interviewer said, “Frankly, I would hire you on the spot if it weren’t for this,” and he pointed at my resume. I thought bringing my resume would show I wasn’t just your average fine dining server, that they would want someone with an education and a broad skill-set to take orders for $40 filet mignons. Wrong! “So, why are you applying to work in a restaurant when you have two college degrees?” he asked. I wanted to scream, “You idiot, because no one else will hire me!” After faithfully following the first two tips listed above, I didn’t know what went wrong.

Later, I looked online for tips about “dumbing down” my resume when applying for jobs where I’m over-qualified. The truth is, in this economy, many employers are suspicious of over-qualified applicants because they know once the job economy improves you will move on to a better job. They’re not wrong! So say what you have to about why you want (not need) the job they’re offering because it’s what they want to hear. It’s not lying it’s just…lying for a good cause.

4. Try everything and look everywhere. Vague, but necessary.

Beginning a job hunt can be daunting. Where to even begin! I sat sweating a few days before discovering that starting can be one of the hardest parts. The best thing to do is just throw yourself into the deep end and start swimming. Try job fairs, the newspaper, online job search engines, Craigslist, and just plain networking. Most of the time, just waltzing into a business to see if they need help is a bust…but somewhere out there, it worked for somebody.

5. Persevere! Just like the main character in the plot of every movie!

Personally, I think the hardest thing about finding a job is the disappointment: the unanswered phone calls, the emails gone unnoticed, the resumes thrown in the trash. Here’s the way I see it: for every ten resume replies I send out from Craiglist, I estimate seven of them to be scams and three of them to be legitimate. Out of the three, I will be lucky if I hear from one. So I apply for everything (everywhere), and I reformat my resume and tailor my cover letter for each…just in case. It’s time-consuming and exhausting. But I do it, and I’m confident it will pay off.

The job market feels like a cruel and dangerous place to the unemployed. Every time I head out for another interview I’m afraid I’m stumbling into emotional territory akin to No Country For Old Men…what obstacle awaits to prevent me from getting a paycheck this time? I just keep telling myself, “As long as it’s not Javier Bardem with a shotgun and a silencer, everything is going to be okay.” So happy hunting everyone! I’m off to chase the comforting light of the desk-lamp at the end of my tunnel…

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